Every Woman Needs a Mentor

Every spiritually single woman needs a mentor. I have heard the word “femtor” used, which I happen to like better because I think it is more descriptive of women helping women which is critical for our purity. Paul tells us:

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2:3-5

Mentor/femtor relationships do not have to be formal assignments. You may make an informal phone call to one friend regarding an issue about your children. You may check in with another when it comes to an issue about obedience or finances because that person has a successful track record. If you don’t experience a long term connection with someone right away, just continue to pray that God would lead you to your mentor/femtor until you find one or many. Perhaps you have been spiritually single for a long time and it’s time for you to share your wisdom with others. After a period of extravagant grace, we reach a dry place if we don’t give from our abundance. If you sense that this paragraph describes you, there are probably women who are struggling alone who need your help. Pray and ask God to guide you to them.

Do you have a very best friend who prayerfully supports you? Describe how you met and how long you have been connected.

Could you become a mentor/femtor? Under what conditions?

Write a want ad for the perfect best friend. Identify key characteristics of the mentor/femtor that would be best for you. Tuck these away in your Bible and see who God provides!

Reflection & Encouragement:

WANTED: Spiritually mature Christian female. Must be wise, discerning, kindhearted, and savvy. Needed for prayer, encouragement, and guidance. Must have waterproof shoulders to cry on, durable knees for long periods of prayer, and strong backbone to stand up to a friend when necessary.

As iron sharpens iron, so one [wo]man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

As spiritually single women, we may feel lonely in our marriages, unable to share our true selves, our spiritual selves, with our husbands. It is especially important for us to have Christian friends, especially girlfriends who can pray with us and offer support. Friends can share in our joy of being part of God’s family, and can help us to grow in our relationship with Jesus.

My Friend Donna

Donna walked in late to the first day of our ladies’ small group/Bible study. We introduced ourselves around the table and I was the only one who mentioned that my husband did not share my faith. In retrospect, I realize that announcing in a new group that you are married to a non-believer could be a social calamity, so very few women are open about it. Because I was willing to be candid, after the meeting Donna sought me out to tell me her husband was not a believer either. Donna’s husband is Muslim and mine is Jewish, which could be a story all by itself. Both were professionals. We both had resources and we both shared a love for Christ AND our husbands. Neither of our husbands understood our commitment to Jesus. It was easy to relate to Donna and I loved her right away. Because of our choice of mates, we both felt like we had one foot in the world and one in the spirit. We prayed together, laughed together, played together, shopped together, talked forever and learned together. We were often considered too carnal for some church activities and way too holy for the non-believers we knew.

In many ways, Donna became the spiritual partner that my husband could not be. I feel fortunate today that she is still in my corner. We pray for each other often and even though I have moved away, we are still remarkably close spiritual partners.

We Need Girlfriends

Look around you. Who has God placed in your life that might become a spiritual support for your? Is there a Donna in your life?